A Little Girl’s Eyes

Last year, my cousin posted this picture to Facebook.

Although, I’ve seen it hundreds of times in my lifetime, it has been several years since I’ve seen it last. This time, for some reason, I noticed the little girl’s eyes – my eyes.

I stared at her eyes.

I say “her eyes” because I feel so detached and so far from her…decades. I stared at her expression. What is that expression? Timidness? Fear? Musing…maybe?

What is she thinking?

Who is she looking at with those eyes?

I don’t know.

I don’t remember.

I wonder about her. I wonder how much of what her eyes saw then impacts how I see things now – my friendships, my relationships and my expectations.

Who were her friends? Why did she choose them? What did she see in her friends then?

I wonder if they are some of the same things I look for and value in a friend now…she’d probably say they were her friends because they were “nice” to her. She wouldn’t know to use words like trustworthy, loyalty, compassionate and giving. Her friends were simply “nice”.

I wonder what she would think of me. Would she like me? Would she talk to me? From what I’ve heard, she liked to talk and she talked alot…just as I do now. What would she tell me? I’d like to talk to her every year from the date of this picture through her teen years.

Oh, the things that I would like to tell her…

ABOUT FAMILY

…It will be one of the greatest gifts in your lifetime and a wonderful support, but there will be members, both immediate and extended, who will need to be loved from afar.

ABOUT FRIENDS

…Many friends will come through your life, some will be closer than siblings at times. Some will simply pass through your life for a time. When the time comes for them to leave, it may be hard, but it’s okay to let them go. There might even come a time when you’ll have to be the one to leave.

…Listen to your male friends because the things they will tell you and the respect they will give you during elementary, middle school, high school and college will teach you how to respect yourself as a woman in the same way they have respected you. They will set your “expectation standard” of how you expect men to treat women…how you expect to be treated.

ABOUT LIFE

…Failure is not the end of everything, it’s the opportunity create something new and try it again…differently.

…Your fears hardly ever play out the way that you think…goodness knows that your creative musings can conjure some far-fetched images.

…To laugh loudly and laugh often.

…Your smile is the greatest and the most renewable gift that you will have to offer next to your heart. You can give it away over 100 times a day and it gives back just as much in return…sometimes more.

…Although you will hate journaling, do it anyway. Learn how to reflect in peaceful places. Continue to write.

ABOUT LISTENING

…Always listen to that small voice in your spirit because one day you will come to know the fullness of the voice and who it belongs to. Always seek the discerned, holy wisdom of that voice. His voice will set your path.

…Keep your ears open. Listen to the things that people tell you that they see in you…test them in your spirit, tuck them away until that VOICE reveals to you the truth of what they see and tells you, “It’s time to walk in it fully.”

…Listen objectively to the negative things that people tell you about yourself and ask the Voice to help you discern the person’s motive for telling you these things. Then ask to be shown how to receive it as an opportunity to positively change, if necessary.

I’d like to sit across from her and look into her eyes. But I can’t.

I can’t look into her eyes and tell her all these things, but now I have a different opportunity.

Now I have the chance to look into another little girl’s eyes…actually I can look into the eyes of several little girls.

Whether they are the eyes of my nieces, the girls at the juvenile detention center, the runaway shelter, or a seemingly random little girl or young lady at a grocery store or in the street, I can look them in their eyes, smile and tell them the things I want to tell her, the younger me. I will tell them the things that I see in them. I hope they will listen, tuck it away, test it in their spirit until it is revealed to them that it is time for them to walk in it fully…

16 Comments to “A Little Girl’s Eyes”

  1. By Bindhurani, March 25, 2012 @ 8:44 pm

    Great things to tell a young girl. Hope, the girls will listen to you and live their life to the fullest. You were a cute little girl in that picture.

    • By Coretta, March 25, 2012 @ 9:33 pm

      Thank you for stopping by Bindhurani. I hope they listen too. I think that it is our responsibility give the gift of our experience to children.

  2. By Dana Lindsey, March 26, 2012 @ 8:42 am

    Beautifully written. Who knew that little girl would grow up to be so wise and make such an impact in the lives of so many. Thank you, Coretta!

    • By Coretta, March 26, 2012 @ 9:15 am

      Thank you Dana. Thank you for being a wonderful support. I hope that you able to see through this post that I truly appreciate you.

  3. By Catarina, March 26, 2012 @ 9:49 am

    What you write makes me think of many things. Above all that most people are like ships passing in the night & I’m an old man I have had many troubles, most of them never happened.
    Catarina recently posted..How to get your news in the mediaMy Profile

    • By Coretta, March 26, 2012 @ 10:27 am

      Thanks Catarina. I posted the same quote by Mark Twain last week. Both quotes are great life lessons. Here’s another quote that I really like…”A proverb is no proverb to you till life has illustrated it.” – John Keats

  4. By Angelina, March 26, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

    Wow that was amazing to read Coretta. How often we forget these things about ourselves and others.

    • By Coretta, March 27, 2012 @ 1:28 pm

      Angelina thank you for dropping by on the conversation with the younger Coretta. Funny, sometimes we don’t have to look back as far as childhood to get the lessons we learned just 5 years ago.

  5. By Dennis Salvatier, March 27, 2012 @ 12:34 am

    I often run into old photos and try and remember what life was like at that very moment the pic was taken. Same thing happens when I hear a song from my teenaged years. I liked your thoughts on failure. My father used to say that failure is only failure when you don’t capitalize on it. Thanks for sharing. I’m sure all the little girls will appreciate your words.
    Dennis Salvatier recently posted..What Do You Listen To While You Work?My Profile

    • By Coretta, March 27, 2012 @ 1:31 pm

      I like “failure is only failure when you don’t capitalize on it.” We should put your father’s name on that quote. I can hope the girls will listen and remember it in the time they need to remember it. Goodness knows the stuff that didn’t seem to make sense then is crystal clear now.

  6. By Sosha Lewis, March 27, 2012 @ 4:21 pm

    Loved it! Great advice. What an insightful woman that little girl has grown into. My personal favorite piece of advice is about loving certain family members from a far.

    • By Coretta, March 28, 2012 @ 11:52 am

      Thanks Sosha. It may be just a bit easier for us to comprehend as an adult…now. I think about the girls in the detention centers who are unable to love “certain family members” from afar because oftentimes the ones they need to be farthest from are those who are their legal guardians. :-(

  7. By Alma O. Garcia, March 28, 2012 @ 11:27 am

    Your life wisdom and experience is an inspiration to others. You can’t go back and change your own childhood … but you are certainly making a difference in the lives of young girls by helping them to be the author of their own life story.

    • By Coretta, March 28, 2012 @ 11:55 am

      Thank you Alma. It’s about giving what I wished that someone had given to me…or at least had given me in the way I would have best received it. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to work with the girls at Dream Angels Inc. You have a group of world changers over there…they just don’t know it yet.

  8. By Catherine Lockey, April 9, 2012 @ 6:21 pm

    Thought provoking post Coretta. Each person’s childhood is unique. If I could go back in time and spend time with child me, I would mother her since mothering is what I lacked from age 11 on.
    Catherine Lockey recently posted..Stand Out with Social, Search, and Content!My Profile

    • By Coretta, April 10, 2012 @ 10:12 am

      Thank you Catherine. I’m sorry to hear that you lacked mothering. What an interesting perspective…to be a mother to oneself. That would definitely be very different perspective. I think that I will muse about it.

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